Like it or not this scenario is likely to happen to us all at some point in our working life. So when it does what can you do about it, if at all?  More to the point should we do something about it?  The answer to this is yes you should, because we spend so much of our life at work, for it to be a constant stress and misery is neither good nor necessary.

Working Relationship

It is important to keep in perspective the fact that we are talking about working relationships rather than personal ones.  The very fact that you work with others doesn’t mean that they will be your best buddies and even less so if you don’t actually like them.   But in order to perform our job well and to achieve objectives it is important to get on with those around us even if there is a dislike.  There may be a number of reasons why you dislike someone at work – personality, attitude, work style to name but a few.

Performance Impact

Firstly, don’t let paranoia set in.  It eats away at you, destroys your confidence and ultimately damages performance.

So, unless you manage the situation the effect of not liking someone at work is likely to impact negatively on your performance and possibly theirs.  The key thing is to understand why you don’t like them, and vice versa, so you can then adapt your style to ensure that productivity remains high and a balanced equilibrium is maintained.  By talking with the individual openly and candidly you should be able to get to the root of the problem, particularly if it is working style that is the issue.  There are ‘tools’ in the market that can be used to establish individuals’ preferences in terms of working, how they operate and interact with others.   If both parties can undertake such a test, you can then work to each others strengths and avoid potential conflict.

Perhaps more difficult is where personality and attitude are involved.  Changing these in others and yourself is not easy, so it will be a case of recognising them and again, if possible, speaking with the individual and working together to achieve the desired goals.  If speaking to each other directly is not an option then a mediator may be required. Remember it may just be you that have the issue, so again recognise in yourself what needs to change or be adapted.  

What if it’s the Boss or someone I manage?

So it’s the boss - difficult as the situation may be you need to remain professional, positive and act with integrity and respect at all times.  Broach the issue at the earliest opportunity and try to resolve the situation before it gets out of hand.  Again try to understand why you don’t like them – did they get the job you wanted, is it their management style or is it a real personality clash? Be honest about the situation and take a positive approach to remedying it.  Tell them how you they can get the best from you and remember management is a 360° process and there is a need for both parties to manage upwards as well as down.  Don’t lower your standards in any circumstance thus giving them the opportunity to manage the situation.

Applying all of the above points to managing a member of your team should help to ensure that they are treated fairly and no differently to others.  Talking with them may ascertain further the reasons why you don’t like them - attitude, personality or performance – so these can be addressed and resolved.  But if not then a good manager will not single someone out because they don’t like them – they will manage the situation professionally and without fuss.

A Challenge & playing to strengths

If you are in a situation where you do not like someone at work, see it as a challenge rather than a burden.  Look for ways to resolve the matter and how you can work with them to make it better.  Recognise their value however hard it may be.    We are all quick to see fault, especially in a difficult working relationship.  It is therefore important to approach the situation differently and to recognise the strengths in others, and to then play to these in order to get the best out of everyone.  Be proactive and if need be involve your boss, if appropriate, to remedy the situation.

And if all this fails?

If you have done your utmost to make it work but the situation prevails and is intolerable then it is time to consider you options.  Making the decision to leave a business is never easy but on occasion it has to be done!

Remember

• At some stage you will work with someone you don’t like
• Try to understand why you don’t like them & be honest about the reasons
• Try to speak with them about the situation & look for ways to resolve
• Use a mediator if necessary to avoid confrontation
• Do not let it get in the way of your performance
• See it as a challenge and take a positive approach
• Regardless f who it is remain positive, professional and retain you integrity and respect
• Treat everyone fairly
• If the situation is intolerable take the plunge and leave!

Alison Halfpenny is a Director of Humanics